Coaching Girls vs. Boys in Soccer: Same Ball, Different Planet
Let’s get one thing straight right away: girls are just as competitive, just as brave, and just as gritty as boys—sometimes more so. I’ve seen girls play through injuries, fight for every inch of the field, and battle with a fire that would scare the studs off a center back.
But coaching girls and boys? It’s not the same. Same game. Same ball. Different universe.
I have a few insights from experience……..
The Pep Talk
Boys:
They want you to be loud. Short sentences. Maybe yell something about "war" or "domination." Fist bumps, chest bumps, whatever works. The important thing is to put on a show.
Girls:
They want clarity. Connection. They sometimes want to put on a show, but mostly the conversation is cerebral! And yes, they want to win, but they also want to understand why and how. If you say “press high,” you’d better be ready to explain the passing lane they’re cutting off, the angle of the approach, and how that fits into the team’s identity.
(Also, one might ask if the forwards should check their shoulders more. She's not wrong.)
The Halftime Chat
Boys:
“Win your 50/50. Stay tight. Let’s go!” - Any more advice can turn into an argument.
They do not want feedback mid-game. Explain a couple of brief, generic details, give them a small bit of Braveheart, and off they go.
Girls:
“Let’s talk about our shape, Coach.”
And you will—in detail. They want feedback. Not fluff. They want to know what’s working, what’s not, and what tactical tweak gives them the edge. These aren’t passengers; they’re co-pilots. And they will take the wheel if you’re asleep up there. They don’t have time to mess around!
Post-Game Reactions
Boys:
Lost? Meh. Won? Cool. There’s pizza, right?
Girls:
They remember every touch. Every detail.
The assist from two weeks ago? “It was outside of the foot, Coach. You said that was good biomechanics.”
One missed tackle? “I should’ve dropped sooner, I let the team down.”
They don’t want you to coddle them. They want you to be fair, thoughtful, and, if needed, tough.
The Injuries
Boys:
Gashed shin, dislocated finger, full-body cramp? It can be hit or miss. They are either shrugging it off or rolling around the floor screaming. A stubbed toe can result in limping like Long John Silver for two weeks, but they will be at training for people to see their heroic ability to live through the pain.
Girls:
Roll an ankle? She’ll know the day, time, and probable ligament involved. And then she’ll ice it, tape it herself, and play anyway if you let her—because she doesn’t want to let the team down. They are much more afraid of emotional injury than anything physical.
Team Culture
Boys:
Culture? Uh... the playlist and who's got the best goal celebration.
Girls:
Culture? Everything.
It’s how we communicate, how we support each other, how we show up for each other on and off the pitch. If you foster that culture, they’ll run through a wall for you. If you ignore it? Good luck holding that locker room together.
So What’s the Takeaway?
While this is a somewhat humorous attempt to highlight the differences, it is essential to understand that none of this is cast in stone.
A good coach doesn’t assume girls don’t want to just go and have a laugh sometimes.
A good coach doesn’t assume boys don’t care about connection or feedback either.
A good coach reads the room and coaches the individuals in front of them, not the stereotype in their head.
The truth is, coaching girls and boys both requires passion, patience, and a strong coffee game. But they aren’t the same. And trying to coach them the same way?
That’s like trying to use one remote for two different TVs. You’ll spend a lot of time pressing the wrong buttons and wondering why nothing's working.
Coach smarter. Coach deeper. Prepare!!! And remember, whether it is charcoal or lavender socks, with the proper support, these kids are warriors. Give them the right tools, the right voice, and the right space… and they’ll surprise the hell out of you.